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Have you ever experienced an awkward moment when a child asks you one of those difficult questions that you aren't prepared to answer? As a constructivist by philosophy, my gut reaction is to respond with a matching question such as "what do you think?" or at least with a reflection acknowledging that I have heard the child's interest in the topic. While at a very basic level, this response buys me time to think about what might be appropriate information for a child of any given particular age, the child's response also gives me a clue into what kind of knowledge they are really seeking so that I can begin to help them search for the answers that are most meaningful to them. Here are some examples of such situations...
A six year old girl asks you, "How do babies get out of their mother's stomach?"
You are on a field trip to the grocery store. Three year old Peter spots an older man with an amputated leg. He says loudly and excitedly, "Hey, what happened to his other leg?" (This situation is something that my father-in-law experiences on a regular basis, so I know what kind of response he would appreciate as the "older man")
Gail, who is 11, tells you about her grandmother, who has cancer. "Can you catch that from someone?" she asks quietly.
Three year old Kern asks, "Are black people black all over? Are they black inside too?"
For those who are just entering professions as early childhood educators and caregivers, we might hope that these kinds of questions will never be asked, but it won't be long before the blinders fall off!
Please use the "comments" section to share a time when a child asked YOU a difficult question that you were not prepared for. Now that you've had time to think about the question and possible responses, how do you wish you had responded? Share your thoughts!
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I work in a Child Development Center at home where a new preschooler got enrolled and he happened to have two moms. The other kids saw this as the child being different because they all had one mom and one dad; they have never been introduced to someone who had two of the same sex parents. I had to think about this question and when I did answer it I just told the kids that it is ok for another child to have two mommies. Some kids only have two daddies as well. Some kids don’t have any parents and they stay with grandma and grandpa. I then went to the library after talking to my director on how I handled the situation and she said I did everything right and that I could do a lesson on families and how they differ. I got books on two same sex parents, single parents both one with a mother and then one living with only a father. Then also I got a book on a child only living with grandparents and the final book that I read to them was about foster kids. I then had copies made of the different families and they could color any kind of family that they chose. Whether it is single families or grandparents or both mother and father living at home.
ReplyDeleteIf I could answer the question again I would reflect the question back to the children and ask then what they think about having two mothers or two fathers. What would be different if they had two same sex parents? Other then using reflection I think that I did the other things right. We read about it, they colored so they could bring the discussion home. I could even have them write about their family under the picture or on the back page. Just about who is in their families and how is living at home with them.
Jenny Powell
The question that the children asked was why does nick have two moms?
ReplyDeleteJenny Powell
I had a really hard time trying to think of a difficult question a child has asked me. When thinking back, the only time I can remember is when I was 12 and my little brother was 6, he asked me where babies came from. Naturally I had no idea how to handle the situation and didn't think it was appropriate to have a sex talk with a 6 year old, so I said, "Good question. You should go ask mom."
ReplyDeleteLooking back I know that it was difficult for me because I didn't know what to discuss with him because I was young as well. If I were asked that question today, I would ask him where he thought babies came from. I would then gather some books and read with him to help him in discovering how babies are born, using proper terms for body parts, and making sure to be open and caring in my conversations about the subject.
Tiffany Wood
One question that I got asked before was about my freckles. They asked me why I had them and if they itched. I laughed about it because no one has asked me if they itched before. I really couldn't answer the question except with saying I was born with them, but that wasn't true either. I guess I have never really thought about why I had freckles before they asked me.
ReplyDeleteMegan Neumann
I have worked in many different environments with children of all ages. I have had questions that have been asked before and have usually asked the children what they think about the situation. Like Cheryl said, it buys time for me to think about what to answer. With every tough question that I have ever been asked, I wait until the children responds to "what do you think" and then I reflect back on what they said. I usually let the child know that it was a good idea and it could be right but it would be best to ask an adult about what they think and I would usually pawn off the question to the director of the daycare I worked at or another adult.
ReplyDeleteThe tough question I have been asked was "why do you have chocolate by your eye?" refering to the small mole that I have next to my eye. Since it was after snack time and we did have cookies, I thought that one of the children at the daycare was working at could have rubbed on my face. While trying to wipe off my face from "pretend chocolate" I asked the child to show me where it was on my face. We walked over to a mirror in the room and they showed me the mole by my eye. After the walking to pause and try to think of something to say, I asked the child how they thought it got there after I told them it wasn't chocolate. After the child gave me their answer, I told them I was born with the mole on my face. Then the questions of "but why don't I have one" came up from the child. I explained to the child that everyone is different and the why game continued on for a few minutes.
If I could go back, I do not think I would have done anything differently. I had to question the child to see what they were thinking before I decided what to say or ask back to the child. I think it is interesting to see what the children will say to the kinds of questions that they come up with on their own.
Danijela Cvrljevic
During my lab experience, a three year old child was talking about names that she liked. She mentioned the name Ella, and without thinking I responded "I like the name Ella as well. I used to have a dog named Ella!" Her response was "Why don't you have her anymore? You didn't want her anymore?" I was at a loss for words because the dog passed away from old age. I responded that we could no longer keep her and we gave her to a good home. I was unsure how to answer her, because I was unsure of what she has been told. I was concerned that I would cause her to panic by introducing her to the idea that not everything is permanent. I also didn't want to upset her parents if she did not have prior knowledge of death.
ReplyDeleteI would answer her differently if given the opportunity now. I would begin by asking her if she has ever had any pets. If she said yes, I would ask her if she still has them all. (Now, this conversation could go different ways, I will offer the description of what I would say if she did not have any pets die.) If she said no, I would ask what happened to the pets. If she appeared to have no prior knowledge of death, I would tell her that when someone has a pet, the pet will not be there forever. I would have explained to her that pets can die from getting hurt, sick, or from being alive for a long time. I would tell her that when an animal dies, they no longer walk around, eat, or drink, or breath. I would have told her Ella went to sleep, and she never woke up. I would have asked her if she understood what I told her, and ask her to use her own words to explain what I had told her. I am sure that she would have many questions, and I would answer them truthfully and precisely as possible. Death is such a complex concept, I don't believe the conversation would end that day. She would need to talk about it, ask questions, and explore the idea. - Sarah Fritz
A couple years ago I was a camp counselor. In my cabin I had 5 African American girls, 1 Native American girl and 1 Caucasian girl. All the girls were staying two weeks, the first week went well but when we got to the second week the Caucasian girl approached me very upset and asked me if all black people were mean. I was really confused, concerned and taken back by her question. I had to take some time to think.
ReplyDeleteI asked her if she thought all people were either all nice or all mean. She seemed confused by the question so I asked her if she thought all white people were nice. She told me "well no, not always, but usually to me." I wanted to explain to her that most people are nice, color doesn't always affect if someone is nice or mean, and sometimes anyone can be having a bad day and it could make them seem mean. As I did try to explain these things she confessed me that her dad told her all black people are mean and bad. I found myself at another confusing roadblock, it seemed.
If I could go back I would do a little more reflecting with her and talk about the week before that she had with the other girls in the cabin and try to think of nice things they did or good times they had together. It became a tough situation when her father ideas came into play and I still don't know how to respond to something like that.
-Sarah Rorabacher
While volunteering in a preschool classroom at the beginning of my teacher education program, I had a young child ask me "what's wrong with that person" pointing to a young man in a wheel chair. At first, I did not really know what to say or how to respond to the child, so I pretended like I did not hear his question and the group kept walking.
ReplyDeleteLooking back on the situation, I feel that I did not handle the question appropriately at all. Now that I have learned more about young children's development, I realize that I should have answered or discussed the question with the young child. If I could go back, I would have redirected the question back to the child asking "what do you think happened?" If the child responded that he or she did not know, I would say "well, sometimes peole get sick or hurt or when they are born, their legs have a hard time holding them up so they have to have a wheelchair to get where they need to go." I would also try and incorporate lessons and activities in the classroom about people with special needs and diversity.
-Lindsey Bentley
When I was in high school i babysat for the same family until i left for college. During the time i was babysitting for them though the mother became pregnant and gave birth to a little boy. Not long after the family found out i was babysitting the little girl and little boy one night when the girl, about 7 at the time, asked me where babies come from. I initially responded by telling her that they came from a mommies belly. She told me that she knew that but wanted to know how they got in the mommies belly. After hearing that i told her to ask her parents since i didn't know exactly how to respond. I didn't feel as if it was my place and didnt want to be too vague and prompt even more difficult questions or too detailed and over inform the girl of things she wasn't prepared for. Now i wish i would have taken the initiative to help her understand where babies come from because i don't think that the parents really approached the subject with her and i think that i could have come up with an appropriate level of information for her had i been slightly more prepared.
ReplyDelete- Tamara Dumas
I work at a daycare, and most often when I am working I am with the preschool age children. One day when I was working, I took the kids down to use the bathroom. As Tennille, a 4 year girl was waiting for her turn to use the potty she said, "Ms.Megan,Why do boys have a penis and girls don't?"
ReplyDeleteMy initial thought was how did Tennille know the name of the "boy part" and who was the person who told her about this? But after a quick few seconds of thinking about how I was going to answer this question, I said, "Tennille where did that question come from? Did you hear someone else talking about this?" Tennille responded by saying, " My dad told me that Bryce (her brother) was a boy because he has a penis and I am a girl because I don't."
Thinking back to that moment and about what we talked about in class I guess I did what was probably most appropriate. At the time I was thinking," I really don't want Tennille going home and telling her parents, Ms. Megan was talking about a penis today." So, by coming back with a question directed towards her I feel that I did the right thing and that I would probably do the same when and if I am ever encounter with a situation similar to this one again.
As a possible resource to use for this situation, I could gather children books that are about the human body, or teach a small very simple lesson to the preschooler about the differences between boys and girls.
Megan House
One hard question that I have been asked by a young child is "Does the Easter Bunny come down the chimmeny?" The child asked me this question the day before Easter, he was sitting at the kitchen table and I was seated in the kitchen as well and sitting at the island with my back toward the little boy. The little boy asked our father initially I believe but our father told me to answer the question because he was running late. So the little boy asked the question again, to me this time.
ReplyDeleteMy response was not what it should have been. Knowing how to respond to certain questions like these. I wish I had turned the question back to the young boy to see what he thought. It is the best way for them to get an answer to a question. If I had turned the question back on the young boy and he answered the question, then I would have just left it at what he responded. However, if he had re-asked me the question I would have responded that the Easter Bunny does not use the chimmeny. The Easter Bunny comes through the door to leave candy and small gifts. The Easter Bunny decided that the chimmeny was the way that Santa came to visit little boys and girls, and that the front door was the best way to come. The Easter Bunny does not want to take away the special way that Santa comes to each home.
-Amanda Birchler
One weekend I was out at my sisters and her neighbors came over with their little 3 year old girl. While giving my baby nephew a bath she came in with her mom to see if she could help. Her mother was expecting a little boy at the time, and thought it would be a good idea. Shortly after she began to help and her mom went into the other room, she had a funny look on her face and asked me "What's that thingy in between his legs, I don't have that."
ReplyDeleteAt first I was completely silent and didn't know what to say. Then I told her that girls and boys have different body parts down there and left it at that. I later found out from her mom that she had been getting a little more curious about genitals since she had been seeing little boys "weeners" at daycare.
If I were to be put in that same situation I would probably respond by asking her what she uses her pee pee for (The terms her mother uses). I would then explain to her that boys have to go to the bathroom somehow too but they instead have a penis.
This topic is very common for young children so I think a simple resource that could be introduced to a child would be a book. These not only have simple terms and explanations for children, but they also may contain pictures. How far you would go with resources really depends on the age of the child along with the parents and what they are comfortable with.
-Christa Jodway
In our school building we have a special needs classroom next to ours. On many days the children from that classroom are outside on the playground right before our children go out. One of the children from the special needs room has a trachea tube and often wears a scarf to cover it. When we were going outside we passed the children and Austin very loudly burst out and said, "Hey why does that boy have that funny shirt on?" I felt bad for the other little boy so I quickly moved Austin away from him and tried to ignore the commment.
ReplyDeleteI knew that wasn't the right way to handle the situation, but at first I thought I was protecting the little boy. I could have asked Austin why he thought it looked funny, (like Cheryl says, to give myself time to think). I then could have told him that he must have had an operation that he was trying to keep clean, or I could have suggested we go ask him why he had that on.
Also, we have invited the other children to come into our room so they can interact with our children and they can ask each other questions, with adults right there to step in when needed. It really has helped both groups of children gaining knowledge and become more accepting of everyone, no matter what each of our special needs may be.
Angie B.
I was at a resturant with my 4 year old cousin. We were in the bathroom and while we were waiting a teenage African American girl came out of a stall. My cousin asked me why her hands were so dirty? I asked her what she ment by that and she said becuase they were brown they must be real dirty.
ReplyDeleteI then explained to her that the girls hands were not dirty, that was the color of her skin. She was fine with that answer and dropped it. Having it be so akward I dropped it as well. If I were to go back I would have reflected mroe and told her that just because someone does not look or act like us, it does not mean that it is a bad thing. everyone is differnt and we are accepting of each others differences.
Taryn Reha
I have actually never had an experience such as these. I have worked in a pre-k the past three summers and I am now in the lab and I have maybe been lucky to not have experienced any questions that are so called the "hard" questions. It's hard to know how you're going to respond to any of these questions. For questions like where do the babies come from, I think I would turn that kind of question back to the child and use an open-ended question and ask the child where he/she thinks babies come from. Also, it's hard to discuss certain topics/subjects with the children, unless you know what the families believes are and what they want us as teachers to discuss with them or what they want their child to know. So, after I ask the child about that I would also let him/her know that that question might be something to ask mom and dad, and then inform the parents that the question came up and what I said. With these questions I don't feel it's ok to just completely ignore the child, but you have to be safe in what you say and be informed at what the family would want. So, it's good to ask the families what they want and then choose your words wisely.
ReplyDelete--Kristen Szegda
One Sunday when I was hanging out in the lobby right after church with my 12 year old cousin a little girl, probably around 3 years old, came up to us and said bluntly, “why don’t you have any hair?” This 3 year old girl was talking to my cousin who in fact did not have any hair. See, my cousin has leukemia and she lost her hair 10 months ago. This question was not exactly a hard question because it was one that we both had thought people would ask numerous times. However, it was very rare that people would actually ask the question, instead they would just stare. So, at the time my cousin just bluntly said back to this three year old, that I have cancer. I remember this situation clearly and it was obvious that the 3 year old did not know what she was talking about and just continued to question why she did not have any hair.
ReplyDeleteNow since I have a better understanding of this age level, I would have handled this situation differently. I would have let my cousin talk first, if she wanted to, but then I would have jumped in to help clarify, especially when this 3 year old continued to question. My first reaction would be to ask the 3 year old why she thought that my cousin didn’t have hair? By doing this I would be able to see what this little girl was thinking and maybe get a bit of insight on to what all I should say. Next I would tell the 3 year old that my cousin sometimes gets really sick and because of this she does not have her hair right now. I would try to clarify the best I could without providing the 3 year old with too much information. I would then ask if she would tell me now why she thought that my cousin didn’t have any hair. This would hopefully get the 3 year old to rephrase what I said and it would allow me to see if she really understood what I was talking about. This would be very important especially since the 3 year old could learn so that in future situations she would not come across as blunt.
~Caitlin Meyer
The only recent 'difficult' question I can think of that I was asked was: When I was at my Lab, there were two little boys playing with the people figurines, which are different elasticities, genders, and disabilities. One of the little boys picked up the guy in the wheelchair, started wheeling him around and then ask, "Why is he in here?" My automatic response (from being in this class) was, "Why do you think he's in the wheelchair?" The little boy just started wheeling him around again, then left the area. When I look back at this situation, I could have asked him again to see if maybe he just didn't hear me ask the question or stop him to talk about his question. I felt that because he just went on and didn't pursue the topic, that he wasn't interested in it or ready to hear the answer.
ReplyDelete-Alison O'Neil
I work at a daycare back in my home town in Waterford. One day during the summer, we took a field trip to the post office. When we were there, we had a male guide lead us around the building. Our guide was overweight, but no one made a comment about it.
ReplyDeleteWhen we got back to the daycare, we all joined together at the circle to discuss our experiences at the post office. One little girl raised her hand and said, "that man was fat, why was he so fat?" I was stunned by her question and I observed as the lead teacher gather her thoughts to respond to the little girl.
"That was was overweight, probably because he doesn't make healthy decisions and doesn't exercise", said the teacher. She went on to talk about how important it to eat the right foods and get exercise in order to stay health. The little girl didn't respond much except by saying, "ooohh he needs to eat vegetables". The teachers in the room slightly giggled, and the lead teacher responded by saying,"yes you are right, he needs to eat his vegetables."
Sara Hoover
One day when I was babysitting a 3 year old little girl, we went to Target. As we were standing in the checkout line, I spotted a little boy in a while chair in the isle next to us. At the time I was hoping that she wouldn't see him because I was sure that she would ask me (probably louder than I would like) about it.
ReplyDeleteSure enough, as soon as she spotted him she said to me "How come that boy is sitting in that wheelchair? Why isn't he walking?" After we were out of the store I responded to her by saying, "sometimes people need help walking. Not everyone can walk around as easily as you and I can." She then thought about this for a second then said to me "he can't play like we do." And I said, "you're right, he can't run around like we do, but he is able to play in other ways."
Looking back on the situation, I don't know as if I would have answered all that differently. although I might have asked her why she thought he could be in there. However, I probably would have responded to her right then instead of making her wait until we were in the car. Now, I would probably be more comfortable answering a question like this.
One day when I was watching my neighbors two little girls, one of them asked me, "How do you get boobs?" I was taken aback by this question and never reallly thought anything about it." At the time I responded, "When you get older, they grow. It is something that just comes when you get older."
ReplyDeleteI would now change my answer. First I would give her the opportunity to say what she thought. Then I would correct her usage of the word and say, "Women get breasts when they grow older." I would probably leave it at that unless she asked more questions. This could turn into a sensitive subject that I don't know if I would elaborate on in a school setting. But after reading the chapter, I would feel more comfortable answering it.
Michelle Neeb
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteLast semester I was teaching a science lesson about the water cycle. I asked the question to the class, “Do you think the water cycle could stop?” I got a few answers from around the room, when one child raised his hand and said, “No, I don’t think that the water cycle could stop because God made the Earth and everything on it and we cannot get rid of something God made.” I was stunned for a second because I was not expecting that answer but I responded back to him with, “I never thought of it that way. That is a new way of thinking about that question.” I think given the circumstances I didn’t want to cast my religious views but I wanted the student to be acknowledged for his response, without me giving a right or wrong answer.
ReplyDeleteErin Haney
I nanny for two boys and the four year old has a tendency to make very honest and often inappropriate comments on things he isnt surrounded by on a daily basis, such as peoples sizes or skin color.
ReplyDeleteOne day last year in the grocery store we were in an aisle behind a women in a motorized wheel chair, holding onto Davids hand I braced myself for a comment I knew was on its way. "shes going fast! Why is she in that chair and not walking?" I was surprised that he had asked a question this time and I did not really know how to answer him. At the time I replied by telling him I was not sure what had happened, but sometimes people get hurt and they cant walk anymore. I didn't know how basic or in depth to go with him at the time, and the women was still in the aisle next to us.
I have had a hard time thinking of a difficult question I have been asked by a young child. I have had to look back at what my youngest siblings and cousins have said to me because they are all 7+ years younger than me.
ReplyDeleteMy parents got divorced when I was 14 and my youngest siblings were 3 and 6. My youngest sibling, Alexandra, didn't understand what was going on when it happened. However, when she was in kindergarden and around her peers, her friends had asked her about her parents and at that time we only saw my Dad every other weekend. She told her friends that and they made her feel like our Dad didn't love her.
She came home that day and said to me, "Why doesn't Daddy love us?" At this time, I was having issues with my Dad, but I clearly knew that he loved us. I said to her "Alexandra, Dad loves us VERY much. He wishes he could be with us all the time, but he lives so far away. He is working on finding a job closer to us, so he can see us more." It broke my heart that my little sister could actually BELIEVE that our Dad didn't love us. I then had to tell my parents about what she had said, and my parents spoke to her and my brother so that they knew that both my parents loved all of us.
There is a good ending to this. A year later, my Dad was able to find a job in the Lansing area and was able to move to Williamston (which is where we lived) and my parents share 50/50 custody, so my youngest siblings who are now 12- and 15-years-old know that both of our parents love them and spend as much time as possible with them.
Samantha Hagerty
During the summer I nanny for 5 year old twin girls. This past summer I took them to the beach for the day. During the day the beach was pretty busy so we were playing in the water most of the time. When we came out of the water in the afternoon, a family set up a blanket next to ours. The whole family was in the water but as they were walking back their blanket, one of the twins asked "How come that girl is so fat?" referring to the mother. Luckily the question was quiet and I was able to divert her attention for some time, but she asked the question again shortly after. Looking back at the situation I should have responded by saying something along the lines of, "You mean why is she bigger than us? Everyone is different and the outside of a person does not tell you what is on the inside."
ReplyDeleteJessica Weidman
One day when I was babysitting two younger kids and they were looking through my purse. They were trying on my lip gloss and pretending to be a grown up. Then one of the girls saw a tampon and asked what is that? I laughted a little bit and then said well what do you think it could be used for? She said, it kind of looks like something my mom uses sometimes. I said well girls can use it when they are on their period. She just looked at me and nodded. I was glad she didn't ask anymore questions about periods.
ReplyDeleteTiffany Thiel
A hard question I had responded to would be when I was volunteering in a Head start classroom and a four year old girl asked me "how are babies born"? I responded by saying "that is probably something your parents could tell you". I was just a volunteer and didn't feel it was appropriate to answer that question.
ReplyDeleteLooking back knowing what I know now I would have responded by saying" you want to know how babies are born, well what do you think about that?" That way I can see how much of a response she is looking for by reflecting, and then form an appropriate response based on what she says back to me. I would explain in simple terms the names of the body parts if she inquires about that in her response.
Lynnette Passmore
During the summers I work in a developmental center as a teacher in the school age room. A little girl, who happened to be from India and was Hindu, noticed my necklace, which was a cross. She asked me why I only believed in one God. I was shocked that a 6 year old would ask me this, and it took me a minute to think of an answer, but I responded with "Your religion has many Gods for many things, My religion has one God for everything. While they are different, both are important to us and both very special." I'm still not sure I answered 100% correctly, but she seemed to understand and we never had a discussion again about it. It was very interesting to see the thoughts that she was having about different religions even at 6!
ReplyDeleteAshley Walworth
I had a child ask me, "why do boys go to the bathroom standing up?" Even now I am not quite sure how I would respond to this question but I do know that my answer would be a bit different than what I told her which was, "that's just how they do it" however now after doing some reading and investigating I have found that there are books out there that explain and tell the differences between boys and girls and I would hope that one would have explanation that I could read and share with the child. Otherwise, I could turn the question around and ask her "why she thought that boys stood up to go to the bathroom?"
ReplyDeleteAmanda Shively
I babysat for this family for a long time and the little girl always had a lot of questions about things. She was very observant to the things around her and picked up on everything that adults talked about. One day, I was about 17 at the time, and she started to take her shirt off and said she wanted to wrestle. I asked why she wanted to wrestle and why she was taking her shirt off. She said, "I saw mommy and daddy wrestling and my daddy didn't have clothes on. Don't you wrestle?" I had no idea what to do so I remember changing the subject completely. Luckily she didn't ask anymore questions.When her parents got home she ran up to them and said "will you wrestle with me like you guys did?" Her parents both avoided the topic and her mom said "this is embarassing but whatever you think she is talking about is probably right".
ReplyDeleteLooking back I think I would have handled things differently. Instead of ignoring the situation completely i could have explained something about her having to ask her parents about the wrestling. I know I would not try to explain anything to her because I wouldn't want to give too much information to her. I also think I might have just told her that I didn't know what kind of wrestling that she was asking about and I could show her a different game we could play. I think avoiding the topic completely made her more curious about it. I also would have talked more in depth with her mom about what she had asked. At the time it was uncomfortable to hear about so I tried to get away from the situation as soon as I could.
Maureen Lynch
I have worked at the same summer camp for the last three years. The past three years I have had pretty much the same children in my group. There was one child, let’s call him Gerald, who was a very interesting child. The summer that I am thinking of, he was about 7 years old. He had some behavior issues, but he could be a really sweet kid. Since I was going into teaching and my co-counselors were not, I usually ended up dealing with his behavior issues, so he and I became fairly close.
ReplyDeleteThis one day, he was having some issues, so I pulled him aside to give him some time to reflect and take a breather from the rest of the group. He was just sitting there, relaxing, when he looked at me and said, “Ms. Jessy, why did the white people make the black people slaves? White people are so mean to black people.” I was really, really surprised and caught completely off guard. (Later in the summer, he asked me several more questions along these lines. His father was very nice and personable, but I am pretty sure that he was telling his son some things along this line at home.) I responded to his question by saying, “Gerald, not all white people are mean. Some people are just mean people and they like to pick on others for fun. Why don’t we go catch up with the rest of the group?” And he said, “Ok” and got up from his chair and we joined the rest of the group.
After taking HEV 402 and other educational classes, I would respond to his question by reflecting a question back to him, “Why do you think the white people made the black people slaves?” Or, more likely, I would reflect to him, “You think white people are mean. Is it because the kids who were being mean to you are white?” I would have tired to get him to realize that I was nice to him, and I was white. So of the other kids were nice to him, and they were white too – the color of the skin on the outside does not affect how nice or mean a person is. Since camp was an outdoor day camp, I did not have access to any resources to talk to Gerald about this.
-Jessy Hester
I have worked at the same summer camp for the last three years. The past three years I have had pretty much the same children in my group. There was one child, let’s call him Gerald, who was a very interesting child. The summer that I am thinking of, he was about 7 years old. He had some behavior issues, but he could be a really sweet kid. Since I was going into teaching and my co-counselors were not, I usually ended up dealing with his behavior issues, so he and I became fairly close.
ReplyDeleteThis one day, he was having some issues, so I pulled him aside to give him some time to reflect and take a breather from the rest of the group. He was just sitting there, relaxing, when he looked at me and said, “Ms. Jessy, why did the white people make the black people slaves? White people are so mean to black people.” I was really, really surprised and caught completely off guard. (Later in the summer, he asked me several more questions along these lines. His father was very nice and personable, but I am pretty sure that he was telling his son some things along this line at home.) I responded to his question by saying, “Gerald, not all white people are mean. Some people are just mean people and they like to pick on others for fun. Why don’t we go catch up with the rest of the group?” And he said, “Ok” and got up from his chair and we joined the rest of the group.
After taking HEV 402 and other educational classes, I would respond to his question by reflecting a question back to him, “Why do you think the white people made the black people slaves?” Or, more likely, I would reflect to him, “You think white people are mean. Is it because the kids who were being mean to you are white?” I would have tired to get him to realize that I was nice to him, and I was white. So of the other kids were nice to him, and they were white too – the color of the skin on the outside does not affect how nice or mean a person is. Since camp was an outdoor day camp, I did not have access to any resources to talk to Gerald about this.
-Jessy Hester
I have a 2 year old nephew. I came home to visit one weekend and brought my boyfriend with me who is black. Brett (my nephew) had met him before, but since he is so young he did not remember him. We walked in the door and Brett came running up to me and gave me a big hug and a kiss. Then he froze! He looked at my boyfriend and started to cry. He ran to his mom and asked her why he was so mean looking. Then he came up to me and said "Auntie, why did you bring a monster with you?" I laughed a little and then looked at my boyfriend, who was feeling completely awkward, and then told Brett that he was not a monster. He was a person just like me and him, but he just had different color skin. Then Brett had to warm up to him and everything was fine.
ReplyDeleteI have never really come across a situation when a child has asked me a difficult question. I have however come across a situation that I wasn’t prepared for. A couple of years ago I was a nanny for family that had two year old twins and a five year old girl. The five year old girl got in trouble for lifting up her shirt on the bus and showed other children, her private area while riding home from school one day. When she would come home from school she wanted to sit in front or the T.V. naked and wanted to wear bell bottoms jeans and a bikini top, when we go for walks and play outside. She had told me that she wanted to wear bell bottoms jeans and a bikini top because she wanted to look sexy and look older like a teenager. I wasn’t sure how to respond to her wanting to look older. I tried my best to explain to her that wearing bell bottoms and a bikini top isn’t sexy and doesn’t make her look older. I told her that she looks cute when she wears jeans and a cute tank top or t-shirt. At that time in my life I wasn’t sure how to handle that situation and I think I handled it the best I could. One thing I would have done differently would be to talk to the girl’s mother and ask her opinion on the situation, to see what she would have liked for me to do when the girl wanted to wear a bikini top with jeans and lay around naked. Jessica Halik
ReplyDeleteWhen my aunt was pregnant a few years ago, my 4-year-old cousin asked me how and when her baby sister would get here. At the time, I told her to ask her mother, because I wasn't sure how much her parents wanted to know or what they were going to tell her. Now I know I should have directed the question back to her to see what she thinks, and then answer based on that. If she said that she thought babies were cut out of their mommies, I would say that yes, sometimes mommies have surgery to get the baby out, and ask how else she thought the baby could come out.
ReplyDeleteNicole Galster
When I was babysitting my 4 year old cousin she asked; "Why don't I ever see your daddy?" This was right after my family had a party and I said, "My mommy and daddy don't live together anymore." So she asked, "Why don't your mommy and daddy live together anymore?" I was only 13 and didn't know how to answer but I told her something along the lines of that they fight all the time so they wanted to be apart, I told her the truth. I might have tried to change the subject so she didn't come up with harder questions but I'm not sure.
ReplyDeleteNow I think I would reflect back on the answer and see why she thought that they didn't live together anymore. I think I would still tell her the truth and say that they fought all the time but I would ask what she thought about it. Even at 13 I knew to be open, calm and caring about these questions.
Katie Schmaltz
In one situation a child asked me why my skin was darker than his friends who was black. My response to him was that Aferican American people have different shades of color of skin. Some are light, some medium and some dark, but they are all African Americans. I then showed him a picture of my nephews and one is light skinned and the other is dark skinned but they are full blood brothers, thier mother is dark skinned and father is light. And I explained to him that many times we get our difference is skin complections from our parents and if one is light skin and the other is dark then there child skin can me a mix of both like me or the same as one of the parents like my nephews.
ReplyDeleteChloe' Ramey
I really had a hard time trying to think of a response for this assignment. The only thing that came to mind was that I have younger siblings and my sister is sixteen years younger than I am. I took her to the store once and as we were checking out, we had a male cashier. My sister pulled at my arm and I bent down and she whispered, "Is he gay? He has his ears pierced!" Luckily, two things happened: one was that the cashier couldn't hear my sister, and two was that we were already checked out and we were on our way out of his aisle. As we started walking, I remember repeating to my sister what she had just asked me and replying, "Just because a boy has his ears pierced, it doesn't mean he's gay. He might like having earings. Some boys like having their ears pierced."
ReplyDeleteBased on what I know now, I would have answered the same way because it's important to reflect on what the child says and I would've just been honest with my sister. I would hate for her to ever make assumptions about people, so therefore telling the truth was the only way I could answer her question.
Ashley Smythe
When my sister was younger and we were at a restaurant a lady was sitting at a table near us with a leader dog. My sister turned to me and asked "Why does she have a dog in the building?" I knew that the lady had heard her comment so I kinda just looked at my sister with a red face motioning for her to be quiet.
ReplyDeleteI wish I would have said..."Yes she does have a dog in the building." "Some dogs are specially trained to help people who are blind or have a hard time seeing." "These types of dogs are allowed to come into buildings."
-Kathryn Schoen
I took my niece and nephew to the mall one day and there was a man that was having trouble walking due to some kind of condition he had. My niece and nephew began to stare and then my niece said out loud, "why is he walking like that?" I pretended to not hear her and continued to walk past the man. If I were confronted with that situation today, I would handle it a lot differently. I would first wait until we had walked a little distance from the man, so I would not embarrass him, and then I would say something like, "why do you think that man was walking differently?" I would let her think about this question and give a response. I would then say something like, "sometimes people are born with conditions that make them different. Everyone is different, it is our differences that make us special or unique." By doing this I would use this opportunity to teach my niece and nephew that being different is not a bad thing.
ReplyDeleteEmily Voight
S.Daffern
ReplyDeleteA child was putting his hands in his pants at the dramatic play area. I saw a boy putting his hands in his pants and playing around. At this point, I looked at him and said,"You need to take your hands out of you pants". He then replied by saying, "Why can't I put my hands in my pants?". To effectively answer this, I could have said, "I see that your hand are in your pants. When you put your hands in your pants and touch your penis, your spreading germs and that is not ok. You need to take your hands out of your pants and go to the bathroom to wash your hands." Here I'm reflecting upon his behavior and teaching him about why it's not ok and the expectecd behavior I want him to follow through with. Also, it's addressing the idea that what he is doing is bad for his own health and now he knows to keep his hands out of his pants.
One question that a child asked me is why is it that girls sit down to go to the bathroom and boys stand up. At first I didn't have a good answer to that question. Now going through the classes I have I would ask the child "why they thought girls sit down to go to the bathroom". Next I would find books to read to them that could explain the reason better.
ReplyDelete~Lisa Woodward
While walking in the mall with my friend’s daughter, who was 4 at the time, she pointed to a girl with a short haircut and said why does that guy have boobs? The guy she was referring to was really a woman with a short spiky hair cut who was wearing a baggy t-shirt and jeans. At first I asked the child why she thought the person was a man. She stated because he has short hair and is wearing clothes like my daddy. I simply told the child people wear there hair differently all the time. Sometimes both girls and boys have short hair and some have long hair.
ReplyDeleteI don’t think that I would have done anything differently. I reflected on what the child said as well as addressed the misunderstanding.
-Jordan Levandowski
I was in high school and I was babysitting for my neighbors who had two young boys; a five year old boy named Adam and a three year old boy named Justin. Before the boys were about to get ready for bed, I read them a bed time story. They both wanted to sit on my lap, but we compromised and they both leaned on one of my knees so that they could see the book better. Half way through the story, Justin looked at me, poked me in the breast, and asked "what's that?"
ReplyDeleteI responded by saying "ummm, why don't you ask your mom."
Having now taken this class, I wish that I had been honest and told him what it was. I would have said "You're curious about what that is. That is my breast. Boys and girls are built a little differently, so a women has breasts and a man doesn't."
I think this is the best way to answer the child's question because I reflected back what the child asked as well as giving the child some truthful information on the subject.
-Jennifer Titsworth
I work at a summer day camp for children with special needs. The types of disabilities range from cognitive impairment to autism to emotional impairment to physical impairment or a combination of any of the above. One ten year old boy had severe autism and emotional impairment. He was nonverbal and very big for a ten year old. When he became frustrated or upset, his was to communicate was to hit his head on the ground or nearest wall, or to run around the room flailing his arms and grunting. Usually a counselor would quickly step in to make sure he didn't hurt himself or another child.
ReplyDeleteOne day during lunch, another child took his book away from him. This greatly upset him and he began to hit his head on the wall. One young four year old boy at my table said, "Look at ____, why does he hit himself? Does he have problems?"
At first I was taken aback by the question, and it took me a little longer to respond. I told my student "______ doesn't say much, does he? He has a hard time telling people when he's upset and sometimes he'll hit his head on the wall." The boy said "oh" and went back to his lunch.
Looking back at my response, I probably should have reflected back to him first to see his opinion and where he was directing it. Although my response was informative, it did not open any lines of dialogue with him which could have been just as beneficial if not more.
-Elizabeth Turbiak
My family and I had just moved into a new subdivision. At the time my youngest brother was 5 and I was 15. We were outside playing basketball in the driveway, when the kids that lived next door came outside to meet us. We all introduced ourselves and began talking about different things. It was close to my brother's birthday, so he decided to share with the neighbor kids that he was going to be 6! One of the neighbor kids said oh, we don't celebrate birthdays in my family. My younger brother responded, "you don't celebrate your own borness?! That's weird!" I was very shocked, and embarrased at my brothers statement, so I asked why they didn't celebrate their birthdays. The kids said that they were Jehovah's Witness and didn't celebrate many things that we celebrate. After a while we went back inside, and I told my brother that just because they were another religion than us didn't mean they were weird. I then told my mom what had happened and she spoke to him about it. I really didn't know how to react, and felt bad because I didn't want the new neighbor kids to not like us. After that, we always talked to them about their religion and they asked us about ours, so we could understand the differences between the two religions.
ReplyDeleteI think I probably would have responded the same in that situation. I may have had my brother ask them why they didn't celebrate their birthdays, and make him apologize for saying it was weird that they didn't, because I am sure the kids had their feelings hurt by his statement.
- Rachelle Stinchcomb
The other day, while sitting in circle, one child pointed to the African American girl sitting down and said "I dont want to sit by her she is different". I ask why the child not, the child responded "cause she is dark". Taking a moment, "I said we all have different color skin", I held out my forearm and let the children compare the color of thier skin to mine. One of the children than said "Miss. Stephanie is the lightest of us".
ReplyDeleteLooking back I wish that we could have looked at the subject could have been talked about more what makes skin different colors.
Emily McKenzie- An eight year old heard older kids talking on the bus about sex. She randomly asked me what sex is. I was shocked and quickly answered that it is if you are male or female. I gave an example saying, "the sex of the baby is a girl." She disagreed with me, so I gave another example. Thinking back on the situation now I would have reflected the question back to her to see exactly what she was asking. Once I knew I would have used open-ended questions to see what she was thinking. This is a difficult question and children are exposed to this word at younger ages due to the media and the adolescents who may come in contact with them.
ReplyDeleteThe only difficult question that comes to my mind is a question that a little 4 year old asked while as a classroom we took a walk through the hospital to visit the elderly. She asks loudly while pointing at a woman in a wheel chair and says, "Why is she so wrinkly and ugly?" I responded quickly and said, "It is not okay to point at people because it hurts their feelings."
ReplyDeleteAfter learning more about how to answer difficult questions I would have definitely responded differently to her question. I would have said,"Why do you think her skin is so wrinkly? That woman has lived many years and has experienced wonderful times, the wrinkly skin is something that happens to everyone. It's a way of life.But when you have questions like that I would rather you wait to ask them when we get back to the classroom."
Erika Neumnann
Last year I worked at a daycare and there was a little boy who had two moms. We had collages of each child in the classroom hung up around the room with pictures of their families. One little girl asked about his picture and why there was two moms and not a dad in the picture with him. I never did ask her what she thought, but now that I have a little more knowledge I would have asked her that first. I just explained to her that everyone has different types of families and that some had two moms. I would probably not have done anything else different besides asking her what she thought first. I was just an aide and so I couldn't do a lesson or anything on it as a group in the future. I maybe would have suggested to put books in the library on different families and then show them to her.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth R.
Recently my grandmother passed away. She was someone very special in mine and my 3 year olds life and it was very hard for everyone involved. My daughter asked "Why did GG (her Great Grandma) have to go to heaven?" I initially didn't want to answer her because I often asked the same thing, and didn't feel like I had an answer. I did answer her honestly though and said "that she was very sick and as much as the doctors wanted to her give her medicine to make her feel better there wasn't any that could work." keeping it simple and not going into to what cancer does to the body. I asked her what she was thinking and she replied "that she didn't want GG to be sick". I agreed with her and said that neither did I. I also, got her a book called A Place in My Heart. That is an age appropriate story about a grandparent dying and ways that you can remember them and how it is okay to be sad. I feel that I handled it an an appropriate manor and since the situation is recent I will continue to answer the questions as they come up. Usually asking her what she thinks first.
ReplyDeleteAmy B.
I had a hard time thinking of a time when I have been asked a difficult question by a child. The only experience that somewhat sticks out to me was when my family was at church and my seven year old cousin asked why the man in front of us had no arm. I was taken a little bit off guard only because I was so used to seeing this man every week at church that the fact he only had one arm was not different to me anymore. I remember at the time just telling her that I didn't know why he only had one arm and that we would discuss it later since we were in church.
ReplyDeleteLooking back at the situation, if I was asked this question again I would have answered it differently. First, I would have redirected the question back at her and asked, "why do you think he only has one arm?" As she aswered I would reflect back on what she was saying. If she said she didn't know, I would probably explain that there are many reasons why he might not have an arm. He may have been born that way, he may have had an illness, or he even could have been in an accident. To help with this I would go to the library and get books related to this. Last, I would incorporate lessons in the classroom about diversity and people who are different from us.
Vanessa Nowotny
I was watching my friend's little sister who was four at the time while I was 14. She and I were watching tv together. She pointed to the commercial about pads and asked, "What are those for?" I beated around the bush and said at the time that they are for other girls and she will find out when she grows up. I should have first asked her what she thinks they are for. I then should have said that pads are for girls when they get their period. The pads catch blood just like a bandaide so that your underwear do not get dirty. I then should have asked if she could tell me in her own words what pads are used for. If anymore questions were to arise I would answer them for her. A possible resourse I may share with her is a book about changes that happen to your body when you hit puberty.
ReplyDelete-Laura Crisp
My niece, Kayla who was 6 at the time was very interested in her mother's pregnancy. She asked me questions, "When mom walks does the baby walk to?" "How does the baby eat?" and "Does the baby poop?" I was very caught off guard at how specific her questions were. I immediately acknowledged Kayla's interest in the subject and said, "That's a great question. Then I wanted to know what she thought or how she started to think about such things so I followed with, "Well what do you think." She responded that the baby did walk around inside the belly, the baby eats what mom eats (in whole form) and that the baby didn't poop. I responded to her answers and told her facts. I also the next day went online and bought the book, What' the Big Secret? Talking about sex with boys and girls. This book was shown to me in a human sexuality class as a way to talk to children about such questions. I got the book and sat down with Kayla and read through it. I stopped to talk about each topic and she had some really great questions. A section of the book talks about "growing the baby" and then goes into detail about how the baby lives in the stomach. Kayla was very relaxed and extremely interested in the book. I think that it made her feel better that the same things she was wondering were also written about in a book. As a society we seem to not want to discuss issues of sex and reprodution. I think that the earlier a child's questions are answered or they know the facts, the better. This doesn't place a bad view on sex and talking about the issues. This shows the child that it's ok to have an interest in those things and that they are asking great and interesting questions.
ReplyDelete-Danielle Rubis
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ReplyDeleteLast summer when I was babysitting for a family of two girls, we were at Tim Hortons and the 5 yr old girl I was watching said to me, "Why does that man stink?" Because I didn't want the man to hear us talking about it, I waited to respond until we were seated at a table. I said to her, maybe he didn't take a shower this morning.
ReplyDeleteAfter reading about these tough questions if I were asked this question again. I would reflect back and ask her, "Why do you think that man didn't smell good?" That man looked like he just got out of work, and didn't take a shower yet. or Some people are going through a hard time right now, and maybe he doesn't have a shower to wash himself in. Does that answer your question?
Elecia Miller
I had a hard time thinking of a really hard question that I was asked. But he only one I could think of was when I was at the store with my cousin and she asked why an elderly lady could ride in the scooter but she couldn't? I just responded with because they aren't for kids. She obvious thought that it looked like fun and wished she could have done it. Looking back I would have answered a little differently. I would have reflected the question back on the child. Based on their response I might say well maybe she is sick or her legs are not as strong as mine or yours and the scooter helps make it easier for her to get around the entire store and do her shopping. I would answer more appropriately to a child in a future situation.
ReplyDelete-bonda1bm
Kathleen Beck
ReplyDeleteThe statement/question that I would like to discuss is about a 6 year old little girl. She came home from her first day of 1st grade and said to her mother,"I think that there is a gril in my class that has too much blood".
I wanted to share how I would have responded to her statemnet.
I would have asked her what she ment when she said too much blood. I then would have asked her what else she may have noticed about the gilr with too much blood. I would want her to make sure that even though she was overweight, there were other things about a person other than their weight.
I would have talked about what she likes about the girl and what it means when peeople over eat when they arent hungry. I think that it would be important to explain how excersie and eating right is very important, and I would try and be a good role model for her and eat right and stay fit.
Ashton Cornell
ReplyDeleteIn lab, on a few different occasions, children would ask about other children's allergies. There is one time that really sticks out to me. We were sitting around the lunch table and one child said to me, "Why does he have special milk? Why can't he eat that?" This child was genuinely confused and had never heard of such a thing before. The children with allergies all have special cards that are set out in front of them, to ensure that they don't eat something that could make them sick.
Looking back, the question caught me off guard. However, after having time to think about it, I have a better idea of how I would respond to a child that asks me that question. I would say something along the lines of:
"You are wondering why he has special milk and can only eat certain foods. Why do you think he can only eat certain foods? There are many people that can't eat certain foods because it makes them sick when they do. We just have to be careful and make sure he doesn't eat those foods so he doesn't get sick."
I also think that it is a good idea to have the children talk to each other about the issue. If the child with allergies were to speak up and say something, which very well could happen, I think this would be a great opportunity for them to communicate and try to understand each other and their differences. It is important to be open and honest about the issues because children really just don't know. I think getting a book or looking things up on the computer would be a great idea too. The child may need to see or hear things from different angles to try to understand a situation.
Alexis Simmonds
ReplyDeleteI was substitute teaching at the Mount Pleasant Head Start on a Friday. I always seemed to be really cold when I was in the Head Start classroom so I wore many layers. On this particular day I wore two different shirts under my sweater (which was kind of big). As I was helping some of the children wash their hands for lunch a little girl came up to me and poked me in the stomach and said, “I think you have a baby in there?” I was so caught off guard I did not respond and pretended like I did not hear her and began helping another child.
I wish that I would have responded by saying, “Why do you think I have a baby in my stomach?” This would have helped me to see what knowledge she had about individuals who are pregnant. I then would have expanded on her answer by reflecting on what she already knew, along with telling her that I did not have a baby in my stomach I just had many layers on under my sweater to keep me warm. To build on that I would have told her that just because someone has a bigger stomach does not mean that they have a baby in their stomach. Everyone is made differently and not everyone has a small stomach. I also would have recommended to the other Head Start teacher that this particular child was interested in people who were pregnant. I would have seen if she could have acquired a book for this particular child to look at about individuals who are pregnant. Then the child could expand on her curiosity.
I often babysit for a very conservative family with 3 girls and 1 boy. A few days after the boy was born I was over to their house helping out. When I went to change the boys diaper the oldest girl, she was about 5, came with me. During the changing she said "what’s that?" and pointed to his penis. At the time I didn't know what to do. Looking back I should have reflected the question back to her, "What do you think it is?" I would have waited for her response but then explained to her that it is a penis and that is how boys pee. The parents also just bought a book about the differences in boys and girls since they did not find out the sex of their child before birth. I knew that they had not yet discussed the book yet but that would have been a great resource for me to have been able to explain from and it would have been beneficial for her to learn from.
ReplyDeleteOn my first day of Midtier I was in a first grade classroom when I boy walked up to me and asked "Are you an Indian"? I replied no. He asked why I was so tan and had black hair. He said I looked just like an Indian. At the time I said that I was not a Native American and asked him if he was. He laughed and said no as he walked away. I wish I would have asked him he thought all Native Americans had dark skin and black hair? I would have explained to him that everyone is different and just because I had tan skin and had dark hair doesn't mean I was a Native American. I would find a book that talks about all the different people of the world and point put skin color and hair color to show him that people look like all different kinds of races.
ReplyDeleteKaylynn Reband
One day while driving, my daughter (7years old at the time), out of the blue, asked me "how do babies get in the tummy?" I was caught off guard and at the time was not prepared to answer the question. AFter that I put off the question, not ready to discuss the subject with her due to her maturity level. I also figured that if she really was curious that she would bring it up again. I then figured that it was probably a conversation that she over heard at school amongst her peers. Knowing what I know now, I would have reversed the question to find out what she knows and get her perception and thought process. Then after finding out what she know and thinks, get some age appropriate books. We would then sit down together read, retell, discuss, and ask questions and give answers back and forth. We have books about how babies are born and about how girls and boys are different. Those subjects I was prepared for , the tummy question not so much. I just wish I could go back to that moment, stop, redirect the question, and then stop at the library or book store and get a book to sit down right then and answer her questions.
ReplyDeleteErin Rees
For the past three years I have worked at a summer camp for children with special needs as a camp counselor and teacher. The first year I worked there I was a camp counselor in a classroom with children who were 5 and 6 years old. In my classroom the special needs of the children varied from emotional impairments, cognitive impairments, ADHD, Autism, physical disabilities, hearing impairments, and visual impairments.
ReplyDeleteOne of the students in my classroom came up to me one day and said, "Why does Billy use books that have dots on the pages?" At the time I responded with, "Because that's how Billy reads." After answering his question, I quickly changed subjects and said, "Let's go over and play with the blocks!"
Today I would have answered that question differently. I would have asked the question back to Tommy and said, "Why do you think Billy uses books with dots on the pages?" This way I could find out what he knows and what his thought process was. After asking Tommy what he thought I would reflect on his feelings of curiousity and say, "Well Tommy you seem very interested in the books Billy is using. Billy has a visual impairment in which he uses books that have dots that represent the words and numbers on the pages so Billy can touch them to read which is called Braille." I would explain to Tommy the correct term for Billy's disability is and what the dots on the pages represent to Billy and the name of it. If Tommy was still interested in books, I would get Braille books for Tommy to look at and answer any questions he might have about them.
Shannon Barbour
Mackenzie Creswell
ReplyDeleteDuring the summer I nanny for a family. The kids are 5, 7, and 9. We are constanly at the pool, so we have to wear a lot of sunscreen. Since I burn very easily I have to have one of them put the sunscreen on my back. I usually have the girl put it on but the boys get angry and want a turn as well. So I let them put it on my back. This summer the 5 year old wanted to put it on my chest, and asked if he could put sunscreen on my 'boobies'. His brother and sister started giggling and he did not understand why. I panicked, laughed and said no I will do it, and we left for the pool.
It really wasn't a good moment to sit down with him and talk because his brother and sister had already made him feel bad about it but in hindsight I would have explained to all three kids that our body is not something to giggle about. I would then have taken the time to explain to the youngest that they were my breasts, and it was a private area that only I am allowed to touch. I would let that information sit and assimulate before I discussed anymore with him.
I used to babysit for a family in my hometown. One time I was taking their two kids for a short walk around their neighborhood when we passed an older man wearing what I believe is called a yarmulke. The youngest child, who was about 5 at the time, asked me why that man was wearing such a small hat on his head. I really didn’t know what to say. I told him that I thought it was called a yarmulke and that the man wore it because it was a part of his religion and what he believes in.
ReplyDeleteLooking back, I realize there were a couple things I could have done differently. I first would have reflected his question by saying, “You’re curious about the hat that man was wearing. Why do you think he’s wearing it?” The child would probably want more details about the hat and about this man’s particular religion. To answer the child’s questions, we could read some children’s books that focus on the Jewish religion. We could talk about the religion and learn the meaning of the hat together.
Natalie Damrel
Courtney Bernard
ReplyDeleteI worked at a preschool summer program for a couple of summers. The students that I worked with were 2 ½ to 4 years old. I had a student whose grandfather only had one arm. The other arm was amputated at his elbow. The first day that the grandfather came in to pick her up all the students immediately noticed that he did not have an arm. Question began to fly and the students were asking ones like “Why does he only have one arm?” “What happen to his other arm?” etc. I froze at first on how to answer this question and the grandfather actually took over. He squatted down on the children’s level and gathered them all around. He explained why he only had one arm. He let the children touch his elbow where the arm was amputated. He explained how he got around with only one arm. The students listened and by the end of the conversation were much more comfortable with the idea of only having one arm.
It was very awesome that the grandfather sat the students down to discuss with them their differences. If I was in this position again I would reflect back with the students the questions they are asking and first see what they thought before jumping in with answers. I would then talk about reasons why people may only have one arm or one other body part such as leg etc. It would be important to be open with the children so that they have an understanding and all their questions are answered. I could even find a book and read it to them as well.
A few years ago working as a camp counselor a five year old boy asked me "Is miss Lisa having a baby because she has a big belly? She was not having a baby and she was a heavier set woman. At the time I was only 17 so I just changed the subject so she didn't hear us and get upset. Looking back, I would have changed my response. I knew he really wanted to know why she was heavier so I would ask him what he thought. I then would re direct his question the way he wanted it and ask it. I would then talk to him about how everyone has different shapes and sizes and its okay.
ReplyDeleteCourtney Miller